


A Freudian Slip

by chibi_nightowl



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, Exhaustion, Language, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 03:12:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15720816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_nightowl/pseuds/chibi_nightowl
Summary: Dick replays the last thing he said in his mind. Oh shit. “I meant, shut you up. Technically, since I'm a dick and you're the asshole, I could do the former, but uh... maybe buy me dinner or a drink first. I don’t usually put out on the first date.”“That’s a lie and you know it.” Jason takes out his lighter again and lights the cigarette he somehow managed not to bite in half. “You so put out on the first date.”





	A Freudian Slip

**Author's Note:**

> I put this up forever ago on Tumblr and totally forgot to post it here. Very short by my standards, but I think worthy of being posted by itself rather than in Ficlets.

Sometimes, Dick really hates it when his brain lags behind his mouth. He can usually claim sleep deprivation as the reason behind it, but other times…yeah. There are definitely times when he wishes the ground would just swallow him whole. 

Like tonight. 

They’re all running on fumes after a breakout from Blackgate (a whole other set of crazy, but nice for a change after the madness that Arkham breakouts entail) and Dick is pretty certain he shouldn’t be seeing two Jason’s at the moment. It’s nice to see one Jason, especially one not hell-bent on mayhem (the murder part has tapered down to be almost nonexistent), but he’s not sure he can deal with two at the moment. 

“Dickie, Dickie, Dickie. Looks like Daddy’s favorite Golden Boy is about to fall flat on his face.” Jason grins sharply as he says it, teeth white and vicious as his lips peel back. 

“I can still get myself home,” Dick waves him off. He squints around the rooftop they’re standing on, hoping to find a landmark to let him know where exactly he is. If Jason’s here, then that means the Bowery. Right? Nothing looks familiar though, which means he’s further gone than he thought. He sucks in a deep breath and bites the bullet. “Where am I, exactly?” 

“Seriously?” Jason is in the process of lighting a cigarette and stops as he stares incredulously at him. 

Dick scratches the back of his head and tries for a disarming grin. It usually works like a charm, so why not? “Seriously.” 

Jason barks a sharp laugh and puts away his lighter. The cigarette still dangles unlit from his mouth. “I could spin you round in circles right now and you’d fall flat on that perfect ass of yours.” 

“You could, but then you’d be an asshole.” 

His little brother closes the gap between them and gets right up in his face. “I _am_ an asshole,” he breathes. He’s so warm, Dick wants to just curl up next to him and take a nap. A few hours is all he needs. “Whatcha gonna do about it?” 

And this is where his mouth takes on a mind of its own. “I’m gonna stuff you up.” 

It’s impossible to miss the way Jason stiffens, especially when he backs up a step. “What did you say?” 

Dick replays the last thing he said in his mind. Oh shit. “I meant, _shut_ you up. Technically, since I'm a dick and you're the asshole, I could do the former, but uh... maybe buy me dinner or a drink first. I don’t usually put out on the first date.” He’s babbling now, his brain has gone bye-bye and he can’t figure out the expression on Jason’s face. This is bad. Really bad. 

“That’s a lie and you know it.” Jason takes out his lighter again and lights the cigarette he somehow managed not to bite in half. 

“Which part? I really am a dick…” 

Jason laughs again and blows smoke into his face. “You so put out on the first date.” 

Dick coughs and waves his hand in front of his face to clear the air. Now is not the time for the secondhand smoke lecture. “Fine, I’ve been known to do that before too, but not lately! I think with my head, not my dick.” As soon as he says it, he knows this isn’t going to save him either. “Shit, I’m just gonna shut up now. Where are we?” he tries again, hoping to bring this conversation back on track. 

“Burnley,” Jason says, finally taking pity on him. “If you turn that ass of yours around, you’ll see the Sprang Bridge right there.” 

“Right, Burnley. By the river.” Dick turns around and whoa, the bridge really is right there. That explains the damp cold that’s been slowly seeping into his limbs and his urge to cuddle. 

Jason heaves a massive sigh and drops his half-finished cigarette, grinding out the butt with the heel of his boot. “I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but you’re in no condition to drive home.” 

“I am too!” he protests but Jason closes the gap between them again and lays a gloved finger over his lips. 

“No, you’re not. Lemme take you home so we don’t see the news in the mornin’ that Nightwing became street pizza when he fell off the side of a building.” 

Dick resists the urge to bite the glove, but it’s a near thing. He doesn’t know where it’s been tonight. “Fine. But you’re tired too. Stay and get some rest.” 

Jason grins again, but this time there’s a different edge to it. “Maybe I will. And maybe in the mornin’, I’ll show you what I’m willing to do before we even eat breakfast.”


End file.
